How Anxiety Affects You

Made to Survive

That’s exactly how anxiety works. Our brains do their jobs when they label things “dangerous.” It’s how we survive! Or at least experience less pain. Think “hot stove”—once you experience the pain of a burn, you don’t touch a stove without caution again! The problem is when your brain can’t recognize when that “dangerous” thing isn’t dangerous any longer or sends up the red alert instead of a yellow caution. Like Bonnie & the wind. Moving leaves in the woods could indicate a predator. But in our backyard? What is it really--a bird? Her alert system is awake, all the time, & doesn’t recognize she is safe.

Recognizing When Similar Is Not The Same

So what about you? What experiences were painful for you & now your brain has stamped similar ones red-alert dangerous even though they may not be? You can learn to coach it to calm down, as long as you are able to recognize when you are safe. When I talk about this with clients, some seem surprised to realize that you can’t always trust anxiety. Sometimes, maybe often, it’s wrong! You may want to avoid uncomfortable situations or people that are actually no longer dangerous. Your danger label is activated because your brain sees similarities in the situation, & you bolt, without looking back. Maybe asking yourself, Have I felt this way before? and What is different now that helps me? Maybe you're able to advocate for yourself, have more support than you used to, are wiser, have more choices, etc.

Avoiding Avoidance and Managing Fear

But learning to calm down isn’t easy. It’s hard to have a body that won’t calm down. It can be anxiety-provoking! But generally, facing your fears instead of avoiding them gives your mind the opportunity to re-learn what is safe & what isn’t. But fair warning, sometimes the brain is stubborn. If you become too anxious, it’s like a polar plunge into fear! Some prefer this and find success (it's called flooding), while others use gradual exposure with some established coping skills (like deep breathing that actually helps). If trauma is part of your story, don’t be afraid of seeking a professional to help you figure this out.

Other Resources

This article from Harvard Medical School explains Generalized Anxiety Disorder and treatments.

This PDF explains trauma's effects on the brain as well as how to support kids who have experienced trauma.