How Anxiety Affects You
How Anxiety Affects You: The Danger Label
(This may not be so brief, but I tried!)
Maybe it's a stretch, but my dogs seem to be a great example of how anxiety can affect you. Back story: Dear Hubbie & I adopted sisters Bonnie & Little from wonderful foster parents with Central Virginia Regional Rescue. Foster mom had taken their mom and 3 pups home after they were found wandering near the woods. Their little bellies were large & round with worms, & a flesh-eating bacteria was attacking their feet & legs. They were around 7 weeks old. I can only imagine what life in the woods must have been like. All the unfamiliar noises and smells. A tense mother trying to look for food, shelter, & safety while protecting her little pups. I guess it’s no wonder that when the wind blows on a pleasant spring day, Little & Bonnie’s ears perk up or go back in alertness.
Fear seems to be the first reaction to anything new. During a recent photo shoot for this website (see fails below), Bonnie actually started barking at the clicks of the camera. It’s difficult enough to do a photo shoot with not one, but two dogs, then add anxiety, tension, alertness, & a flight impulse. Somewhere she learned to be afraid of the unfamiliar. She learned things could be, or most likely are, dangerous until proven otherwise.
Made to Survive
That’s exactly how anxiety works. Our brains do their jobs when they label things “dangerous.” It’s how we survive! Or at least experience less pain. Think “hot stove”—once you experience the pain of a burn, you don’t touch a stove without caution again! The problem is when your brain can’t recognize when that “dangerous” thing isn’t dangerous any longer or sends up the red alert instead of a yellow caution. Like Bonnie & the wind. Moving leaves in the woods could indicate a predator. But in our backyard? What is it really--a bird? Her alert system is awake, all the time, & doesn’t recognize she is safe.
Recognizing When Similar Is Not The Same
So what about you? What experiences were painful for you & now your brain has stamped similar ones red-alert dangerous even though they may not be? You can learn to coach it to calm down, as long as you are able to recognize when you are safe. When I talk about this with clients, some seem surprised to realize that you can’t always trust anxiety. Sometimes, maybe often, it’s wrong! You may want to avoid uncomfortable situations or people that are actually no longer dangerous. Your danger label is activated because your brain sees similarities in the situation, & you bolt, without looking back. Maybe asking yourself, Have I felt this way before? and What is different now that helps me? Maybe you're able to advocate for yourself, have more support than you used to, are wiser, have more choices, etc.
Avoiding Avoidance and Managing Fear
But learning to calm down isn’t easy. It’s hard to have a body that won’t calm down. It can be anxiety-provoking! But generally, facing your fears instead of avoiding them gives your mind the opportunity to re-learn what is safe & what isn’t. But fair warning, sometimes the brain is stubborn. If you become too anxious, it’s like a polar plunge into fear! Some prefer this and find success (it's called flooding), while others use gradual exposure with some established coping skills (like deep breathing that actually helps). If trauma is part of your story, don’t be afraid of seeking a professional to help you figure this out.
Other Resources
This article from Harvard Medical School explains Generalized Anxiety Disorder and treatments.
This PDF explains trauma's effects on the brain as well as how to support kids who have experienced trauma.
**Please note: It is not my intention to plagiarize or take credit for information that is not mine! I have learned this info through the years from various trainings, articles, and videos. A few likely sources include Trauma-Focused CBT training with Alicia Meyer, Ph.D. and multiple school-based intervention trainings with Diana Browning Wright. I also enjoy Psychotherapy Networker articles. I honestly cannot give credit everywhere it is due. I’m also referencing legitimate sources of like information to validate what I’m sharing.